With Love, A New Mom
PSA to experienced moms with loads of advice.
It doesn’t matter if you have 10 kids or if you had your first child 50 years ago, you were a first-time mom once.
Do you remember how that felt?
Do you remember the crazy fears and anxiety that consumed you when you brought your tiny newborn baby home? Do you remember feeling helpless as they cried in the night and you were unable to soothe them? How about the first time they got sick…how did the fear of the unknown cripple you then? If you were one of the moms that NEVER experienced any of this then consider yourself lucky but I highly doubt those moms exist much outside of fairytales.
You see, when you become a mom for the first time, you have to see your heart exist outside of your body for the rest of your life. You try like hell to protect it but there will come a day when you aren’t there and you have to hope God heard all your prayers of protection your soul screams out to him as you lie awake at night watching your baby breathe.
So, if you’re a seasoned, experienced mom approach a first-time mom with compassion.
Remember what it felt like when you were a first-time mom yourself before you pass any judgment on her for her irrational fears and crazy rules. I’m sure you had a few yourself or have you so easily forgotten?
I pray I never forget what it feels like to jolt up from a dead sleep to check on my baby because they slept through feeding and that’s not like them. I pray I never forget what it feels like to leave my baby for the first time and hope to God that person loves and protects my child as I would.
I pray I never forget what it feels like to finally comfort my baby after hours of inconsolable crying. Because when my son’s wife has their first child or when my stepdaughter becomes a mom for the first time, I can remember what it felt like and be there as a first-time mom with them. To comfort them and give validation to every ridiculous damn fear they have and follow every single rule they lay down for their child without question. Yes, seasoned moms have years of wisdom and experience that are invaluable. But they gained those by being first-time moms and captains of their own ships.
Please, to all the seasoned, experienced moms out there….let first-time moms be the mom the same way you got to be the mom. Don’t patronize or be condescending. Allow them to make mistakes. Allow them to loosen up the reins themselves. Don’t force anything and don’t try to captain their ship.
We’re not any less of a mom because this is our first time doing it.
Remember what it felt like.
